Moody Vintage: October 2010

It's Halloween weekend and most of us grown-ups are out and about at late night parties. The kiddies will be excited to dawn their costumes and go off trick 'r treating. For those outside of the U.S., I'm sure you have some idea of what happens on the date of October 31st. Some of us don't have that luxury to part in the weekend because of our jobs. I've never been to excited on this date, mainly it's something I never fancied. It's great to see all these unique and brilliant costumes people create and put on. Other than that, I am never too inspired to do the same.
The whole 'horror' thing really does not get me going. I do admit, when I was younger I did go trick 'r treating with friends...only a couple of times in the history of my lifetime. I've never really been a candy person so the incentive of going trick 'r treating just goes out the window for me. I do remember one Halloween in particular that I will never forget back in grade school.
I was at the apartment complex of a very good friend of mine and we decided to go around the neighborhood and do what everyone else does. We had our skeleton and reaper costumes on and off we went around the complex knocking on doors expecting candies. The evening went well with somewhat good amount of candy in our bags by the end of the night. The only highlight of the evening was when we decided to knock on a door on the opposite side of the complex. This image will never leave my mind. A man covered in a white robe with his hood partially off of his head opened the door. "Trick 'r treat!" He replied, "We don't have anymore candy." I had a good view and took a glance behind him. There was a pentagon painted on the far wall and I saw more people with the same 'costume' - white robes with white hoods. I wasn't too sure at the time if we knocked on the door of KKK (Ku Klux Klan - a racist group) members or some type of devilish cult. I only needed a glance to quickly nudge my friend and pull away from the door and politely made our way out of the walkway.
The point here is...KKK or a cult, it doesn't matter. If you see white robes and white pointy hoods, you get the hell out of there as soon as you can. Be safe people when you go out there had have your fun. Not that you will bump into white hoods, just be careful of how you have fun. Plenty of drinks go around (and I don't mean soda) so it's important to be responsible as well.

- Gentleman Tip of the Day -
Let's keep this going shall we? Shoes and belts are all good but there is particular article of clothing some men still have trouble with. For some men, they simply do not like it and wish never to wear it. Yes, the necktie. Personally, I enjoy it. I love tying a silk thin (2in; 1.5in.) tie around my neck. Then again, it is me I am talking about. For those who still have trouble actually tying the tie, there will be no tips of that here because you can simply visit YouTube and search away of the few ways to tie a tie. Just like shoes and belts there are rules in how to wear a tie. The main problem with men is not the ability to know how to tie it, it's the matching of the tie with the shirt.

Striped shirts with striped ties - Sure, you can match these two but always make sure the stripes aren't going in the same direction. A vertical striped dress shirt with a tie that looks the same is never an OK deal. Also, make sure that the stripes on the tie aren't as thin or thick as the shirt you are wearing. If possible, just try going with a tie that is a solid color or with different simple designs.
The color - It is very important that your tie matches at least one article of clothes you are wearing. It can even match the color of your shoes. This is for beginners and for those who aren't too fashionably aware. If you are on top of your game, it's more important that it makes more sense to make sure that your tie compliments the color of the shirt you are wearing.
Stripes from head to ankle - If you are wearing a pinstriped suit with a striped shirt and striped tie, get a pair of sheers and gouge your eyes out. It's an insult to fashion and trust me, it is in no shape or form flattering. Key note here: simply avoid!
Matching with micro-check designs - I'm sure most of you have seen those very small (micro-check) designed/stitched shirts. Personally, I stay away from these shirts because it's something that simple does not look great on me. These shirts, in my opinion, looks better on men without the tie. Regardless, you are able to wear these shirts with micro-check designs on the tie as well. Again, make sure it's nothing like the shirt. For example, a classic micro-check shirt goes perfectly well with a circular micro-check tie; the tie has many bubble like shapes in a repeated pattern.
With Plaid shirts - Number one thing to remember here is that plaid shirts are usually mostly worn for casual settings. In this case, you always want to avoid wearing anything but a solid colored tie. Anything outside of a solid, is flirting with disaster. Once again, make sure the tie color matches one of your articles of clothing, belt, and or shoes. A plaid suit is completely different where a light striped design or a solid shirt works best. This is where a plaid tie can come to be worn. Again, make sure it's not the same exact design as the suit.

The key to style here is to always make sure your entire outfit flows in a smoothly fashion. The best way to go is to wear a simple solid colored shirt. You can pretty much wear any design of a tie you want. Know your colors and accents where your tie compliments your shirt and or suit. The tie is that final piece of the puzzle, especially when it comes to the suit. Your tie is nearly as important as your dress shoes.

fashion - 12:24 AM

HallowScene

I t's Halloween weekend and most of us grown-ups are out and about at late night parties. The kiddies will be excited to dawn their cost...

I have been giving out plenty of tips and consultation regarding fashion and gentlemanly etiquette and some of you have been wondering how thin your wallets will get by changing your wardrobe. It's interesting how simple minded we can be on certain subjects in life and in others we give our complete complex perspective towards it. For example, I had higher than average hits on my last post (Sex Therapy), you perverts. Funny enough, it was about perversions. You will never read anything on this site that is out of bounds or chaos worthy so don't even think about it.

Ladies and gentleman, it's time to go back to the basics. I will never tell you to completely change your wardrobe but updating it is a definite action you must take. I'm no Tim Gunn; although, I do aspire to have his type of life. This isn't a show just an outlet for you - the readers - to pick up on stuff you wouldn't normally think about. This blog is not strictly for men, as women have a great opportunity to see what goes through the minds of proper gentleman. Along the process, they will know that there are still men that appreciate them completely. In order to do any of that, we must first make sure we are presentable and properly prepared for everyday life. I will always repeat to my clients and friends alike that it is never about the price tag or the brand name. It's about style and attitude, it's about comfort and confidence.

There are is a very easy process of saving money and updating that wardrobe of yours. When it comes to style those hangers with clothes hanging off it happen to be your arsenal - that is your war chest. The first thing is first, your health. Give up the junk food, you are seriously killing yourself. The sad thing about all that is that it really does take something drastic to change the minds of humans. For example, we don't appreciate life up until someone very close to us passes away. That's pathetic. You just learn to appreciate life from the moment you wake up every morning. Your problems are insignificant compared to the rest of the world. I can't stress enough to drink more water than consume alcohol. Personally, I am not a drinker; I have never tasted alcohol in my entire life (that goes for smoking as well). A glass of red wine from time to time is OK. Even then, try to cut down on that, you are saving more money than you think by simply cutting down on eating out and on unnecessary products.

When it comes to fuel for the car, once again, it's much easier than you think. Think about your priorities. The car is a must when going to work and back. All the other things on the weekend, try to carpool. Not only are you keeping your wallet healthy, you are also saving the environment one day at a time. It's the little things that matter. Ever heard that? I'm sure you have mainly because it's damn true. You shouldn't be complaining about where you work (unless it's unethical or illegal) when there are a large percentage of people who have lost their jobs. Economy 101. Somethings in this world you don't need text books for. The same goes for purchasing those expensive caffeine pick-ups in the morning. Starbucks? Really? Unnecessary. There is nothing chic or cool about chugging down a 20 oz over priced drink.

There are an entire list of things you can cut down on and save a whole lot of money for updating or completely altering your wardrobe. In fact, this goes beyond your clothes. These are just common sense life lessons you should pick up on. The key to looking great is to feeling great. If you can exercise 5 days out of the week and eat healthy, you are taking a very large step into looking amazing. Nothing comes easy when looking fantastic but it's not difficult to look horrible. Ask yourself this question when you see yourself in the morning, "Do I really feel good?" Being sexy is a state of mind. Again, this refers to men and women. Never forget the '3S' effect: Sexy, Sophisticated and Smooth.

- Gentleman Tip of the Day -

If you have been following closely, I have been recently giving tips on shoes and belts. One of the more important things is the upkeep. Taking care of your car is pretty much the same as taking care of those very expensive and high quality shoes. Belts aren't too much of a fuss because they don't give away like shoes do. The importance of maintaining the shine on your dress shoes, along with your pricey casuals, is to keep you sharp and away from digging into your wallet again. When you actually go out and find a great quality dress shoes, remember to always buy shoe polish or the correct cloths that is needed to regularly dust off your shoes. When you first purchase the shoes it's alright to keep it in the box, but once you start wearing them, that's when the maintenance begins. I'm not taking about watching where you step or keeping distance from other people. Do all that if you choose but the main objective is how to keep those pairs looking new.

Invest in a home shoe polishing kit. Try polishing and or shining it up before everywhere. It depends how often you are wearing those particular shoes. If it is quite often, you may want to hold out on the polishing for a bit and simply dust it off instead. When you do actually polish it, remember to put light pressure on it. Don't stroke at it like you are trying to sharpen a knife.
Shoe trees are a must. For casual shoes, you don't have to worry too much about. You are supposed to wear them in anyway. For dress shoes, it's like I said, maintain that quality pair of shoes like you would take care of your precious car. Shoe trees prevent the shoes from creasing even further. If you have purchased your shoes from a top notch label or brand, the trees will come along with. Don't worry you can always buy a pair, just know where to buy them.
Let it breathe! As expensive and magnificent those shoes are, the leather will gradually give into deterioration. Some brands will take longer than others but nothing lasts forever. Along with putting those shoe trees in, you have to keep them out in the open - in room temperature. That leather, regardless the designer, needs breathing and natural light. You never want to seclude them into locked safe. It's like a fine work of art, know when to take the glass frame off and clean it.
For the love of God, change your socks. You may not think you are sweating down there, but you are. There is a reason why the socks were created. That sweat leaks onto the shoe and contributes to that leather deterioration. Always change your socks on every single time you wear your shoes. This goes for both dress shoes and casuals. I don't care if your feet smell like baby powder on a new born baby dipped in lavender and honey. Your feet do sweat, don't be delusional.

Take care of those babies and I assure you that you will save plenty of money and still look GQ at the end of the day. Walk the walk, gentleman.

"Things are changing with globalization. You never used to see a Frenchman wearing tennis shoes at night." - Tom Ford

fashion - 8:15 PM

Use Your Head

I have been giving out plenty of tips and consultation regarding fashion and gentlemanly etiquette and some of you have been wondering how ...

Yes, this post has been inspired by Mr. Robin Thicke. Although it's not as blunt as the song or album, it relates to all of us. The everyday life of "sex therapy" is found pretty much every where we go. The only problem is since we are mammals we have our animal instincts. Some of us do a great job at hiding our perversions and others, not too much. Do keep in mind, there are certain levels of perversions; the majority of us have them whether you like it or not. What's our excuse? We're humans, we make mistakes.
I want to let all of you know that there is nothing wrong in acting on those sexual urges. But just like everything else in life, there is a time and place for those urges to take course. There is such a thing of being classy and naughty at the same time. Women are notorious for this. I have observed and experienced way too much of this behavior with women. The thing is we find it acceptable for women to do what they do. The main factor here is the art of deception. A lady in the streets but a freak in the bed. That right there is thee woman every man truly fantasizes about and rightfully so. You want to have that raw passionate love making with that certain woman but keep her to yourself. The biggest turn-on isn't really the love making, it's the ability of that same woman to act as a proper lady everywhere else. It takes serious skills to pull that off.
If you tend to sleep around, you will automatically be labeled as a "slut" (this is regarding women of course). Men do what they do and are applauded for it. This is completely wrong and quite unfair. I am never too shy to tell a man straight up that he is showing tendencies of a man-whore. A true gentleman should always be a 'one-woman-man'. If you are still a bachelor, then feel free to charm women with honest intentions not just trying to dive into their pants...or skirts for that matter. Men are as bad as women and women are as good as men. It's a two-way street, ladies and gentlemen. Do not ever think otherwise in where one sex is better than the other. We all have our faults but can refrain from those actions when we want.

It always comes down do desire, doesn't it? People want too much and naturally are expecting a bit more. These traits will lead to disappointment. Not always but the majority of the time. If you want to live your life with 95% disappointment, go ahead, no one is stopping you. But ask yourself this, is that really healthy? Of course, not! We have too many responsibilities as it is so what makes you think temporary satisfaction will fix everything? It's not like sitting in a cafe taking shots of espresso. Ultimately, this brings shame and doesn't go too well for your future relationships with people. Don't fall trap into your desires. You do have the ability and control to explore those sexual thoughts with certain individuals. The sexiest and one of the most classiest thing about a woman is her control over sexual intimacy. It's the appetizer not the main course that draws men into the world of sexual satisfaction.
A legitimate research shows that men prefer and are turned on by Victoria's Secret models over Playboy. In magazines like Playboy, you are already expect and know what the contents will show. The thing about super-models (who do not go nude) are more attractive and alluring because everyone wants to know the contents behind the bra and panties or lingerie. It's the tearing of the gift-wrap that excites men not the already exposed presents.

- Gentleman Tip of the Day -
The last post I discussed or shared knowledge about shoes. Now, you want a belt to match. Another one of the more important accessory a man should have. In fact nowadays, belts are essential to what you wear. It's the same as putting on a tie at a formal event, you just have to have it on. Just like shoes there are certain types of belts as well. Learn to get to know them as well.

The all classic black belt - This is the most basic of them all and the one you always should have in your wardrobe. This style of belt can be used with pants and jeans. Remember, you still have to match with the colors of your shoes (see earlier post). Most of these kinds of belts will have that solid strong buckle to it. Too big of a buckle and you can call yourself a cowboy and move to Arizona so be careful.
Thin-black belt - Now, this pretty little thing is pure sheik and class. I prefer to wear these when it comes to wearing full on suits. Just like the belt itself the buckles are sleek and sexy. Always remember, the more simplicity it has in its design the more elegant it is. If you want one of these, I recommend getting a designer's belt. And let's face it, you can definitely afford a designer belt; it's not as bad as watching your wallet when it comes to shoes.
Brownish belt - Like I said, you have to match your shoes. When I say brownish, I do not mean a chocolate brown. Just like other colors other than black and white, there are different shades of brown. For example, if you were to wear oxblood colored or cognac colored shoes you'd go with a subtle solid brown. Think of it as trying to match the color of someone's brown eyes. Whatever shade of color your shoes are try to wear a shade or two lighter for your belt.
A beige belt - This is a bit less formal. In fact, it's more casual than anything. This style though is not as flexible as the others. This color is more to do with the clothes you are wearing and not too much on what you are wearing on your feet. You can wear these with fall color chinos (earthy toned colors). You can even strap this one on with a linen suit - more of the beige shade of course.
The casual belt - Just as it says, it's casual. Feel free to wear whatever you want with these non-leather belts. Not matching your shoes isn't a big deal with these style of belts but don't do anything extreme to where people can point and laugh. Use your somewhat fashion sense to avoid embarrassing yourself. The fabric used here is mostly cotton so do be careful where you tend to keep these belts. You can wear these with shorts and slacks alike. Make sure your entire outfit is casual or this belt will look completely out of place.
The different black belt - These aren't as simple and plain as the classic belt but it still shows the sleekness when worn with formal attire. These are a bit tricky, unlike the others. The stitching is obviously different and the type of shoes you are wearing has to be a huge consideration. There are lot of different designs stitched into these belts. You can Google search anything of these belts but for this one specifically you can click here to actually see what I'm talking about: cross-stitch belt

Once again, just like the types of shoes, it's good to have all of these different types of belts. It's OK if you have the basic black and brown belts, that's what matters the most. When it comes to jeans, I prefer not to wear a belt but if you do tend to, make sure it's a thick (or wide) belt. The thing about jeans is that you really don't want to wear a belt because it tends to distract the person from the wash and design of the jeans. Trousers and or dress pants (flat-fronts) are simple with intricate stitching that cannot be seen at first glance so wearing a belt will only compliment it. Stay away from those huge buckles; unless you are a real cowboy with old school western attire, don't even think about it. A rule to always remember: If you are going to tuck your shirt in, it is nearly mandatory to wear a belt. The belt is not to only slightly tighten up the pants to your waist, it's almost as if it's saving your waist from being completely naked. When it comes to suits or formal wear these rules should always be followed with no compromise.

fashion - 1:56 PM

Sex Therapy

Y es, this post has been inspired by Mr. Robin Thicke. Although it's not as blunt as the song or album, it relates to all of us. The eve...

What's the first thing you think of when you hear or read the terms, diplomatic immunity? Politics? Nations? Get away with what you want?

My week has started out in a very good note. The weekend wasn't great but favorable. As I was having the many random conversations I have on AIM with one of my good friends, Brandon, I realized the spectrum of which my friends are in. It got me thinking to the status that I have always had in society. Social networking has helped our lives personally and professionally. No, I will not be discussing the movie. I just wanted to touch on the fact that it is very important to have a large network and knowing to keep the balance from your personal to your professional life. I'm not just talking online networking but actually being out there in person shaking hands. I have always told my little sisters to keep their heads down and stay away from drama. But as drama is, it's difficult to avoid because it attacks in every single direction you can think of.
I have always had a diplomatic approach to everything. I am the, so called, Rusty Ryan (Ocean's 11) of the group. You know, the one that everyone comes to for advice with pretty much anything that has to do with life. To me, it's important to have those types of relationships, regardless of the distance between me and that certain individual. Throughout high school, I was the one that everyone knew but did not know. The "cool" guy. You could ask anyone about me and they would have a similar response. Something along the lines of, "Oh, yeah. Mahmood? He's cool, yeah I know him, why?" High school (whether you loved it or hated it) was the perfect place to work on diplomatic and networking skills. We all know back in high school, even now, have cliques. You have the jocks, cheerleaders, nerds, etc. The act of diplomacy here is that you never choose a side. In order to be successful in such status you must always have an open mind and a sharpened wit. In fact, the only 'clique' you should be in is being the company of other 'diplomats'.
That was not too difficult for me since I'm a non-confrontational person by nature. As a gentleman or a lady would, walk into a room expecting many hand shakes but never expect walking out of it with anything else. You want to blend it but not get lost. You want to make a statement but not make you the center of the room. This builds an impressive reputation that will be carried on for years - unless, you want to destroy yourself later. At a later point, you will soon realize you will need no introduction and the most effective and cheapest way of marketing - word of mouth - will do the work for you. Soon enough, you will be the first on the list and that many will approach for whatever reason. Desiring the attention will get you nowhere, wanting to help others in a genuine manner will take you to heights that most envy.

- Gentleman Tip of the Day -
After having a conversation about shoes today with my friend, Brandon (again), it got me to thinking how there are many men who tend to worry too much about them when it comes to formal and semi-formal events. There are 5 styles of dress shoes, gentleman. Learn to know them.

Oxfords - the most common and safest way to go. Pure elegance and simplicity.
Cap toes - a little flamboyance doesn't hurt anyone.
Loafers - the one that you can wear both in a formal attire (or semi-formal) and in casual manner.
Dress boots - these suckers are expensive than the others but a style that cannot be matched.
Monk strap - A tweaked version of the loafers but stylish in its own right.

I have 3 of the above styles already (minus Oxfords & Dress Boots) and it's what I stick with in a regular basis. It's a good thing to have all five of these styles - at least one pair of each. I have to buy both of the ones I'm missing myself but waiting for the right ones. Gentleman, there is an art in making shoes as well so please do not moan about the price tags. When it comes to dress shoes it's important to know that the best quality ones will run you about $400 (USD). You are safer if you hover around that price range, don't worry if it's twenty bucks lower. There are now many styles fused together but those five are the basics in which the rest branch out from. Just as in clothes you also have to be aware of matching the color of your shoes with the trousers (or dress pants) you've put on. If you got the style down with a little bit of knowledge behind it, you can see yourself being that smooth diplomat in life. A man's shoes does tell a lot about who he is. But then again, pretty much everything you have on will let notice of what kind of man you are. Be comfortable in what you are wearing, do not let the clothes or shoes wear you.

fashion - 3:03 PM

Diplomatic Immunity

W hat's the first thing you think of when you hear or read the terms, diplomatic immunity? Politics? Nations? Get away with what you wan...

After nearly 5 1/2 years of living in this God forsaken place, I have finally found my personal barber. In old town Dhaka, of all places.

I have found myself in a bit of a funk this week so far since my food poisoning episode from last weekend. I've missed 4 of my 5 workouts already (Sun-Thur). I run at a very strict routine throughout the week. The way I eat, certain exercises on certain days, the pattern in which I shave, etc. I do not like compromising my strict schedule, it gets me very upset and a bit depressed from time to time. The only way I would skip an entire week without working out by choice is if someone offered me a week on a large yacht somewhere in the Mediterranean. I don't see that happening anytime soon so you can imagine my frustration.

One of my friends asked what she could to for me to get my out of this funk. I responded kindly in saying there really isn't anyone that can do anything. I was wrong. I planned on going to get my haircut today so I did. I went to the place I usually go to, which is about a block away from my home. The streets are usually busy with traffic - people/vehicles. When I entered the barbershop, not a single customer was in sight. I usually go to places mid-week as it is the slowest times of business in the week; I prefer going during the early afternoon hours. One of the barbers had to get up from the idle positions and luckily it was the one that I was immensely satisfied with.

There is an art to grooming. There is an art in cutting or styling hair, an art to shaving and so on. It's strange how a random act in a single day can lift your spirits and you find it in the most unlikely of places. It was a difficult transition for me when I left California in 2005. I had my own personal barber there as well, a kind older gentleman who had moved from New York. The fine precision and concentration on this new barber's face was magnificent. I was sold. I quickly typed his name into my BlackBerry and there he was labeled, "my personal barber." He made sure to ask me if I wanted a shave and a facial along with my cut as anyone else would down here. It was very tempting but my intention was strictly to get my hair cut. I had to reject his offer but made sure I'd be back to get all of that done by his wonderful talents.

The more exciting fact is that haircuts down here are very cheap. A very good and quality haircut in the States should be around $40 (USD) for men. My haircut today - minus the tip - was TK60. For those who don't know, $1 (USD) is TK70 (TK is taka) so you do that math, ladies and gentleman. Yes, I know, mind blowing. Even though the experience lasted around about fifteen minutes, it was pure delight. There are things we do not realize when we are younger. As we get older, we gradually pick out the simple and subtle details in our lives. The way we cut our hair, how we eat, which suit to wear on which day, and how do I get to work the quickest possible. To look good, you have to feel good. And it's moments like these, getting my hair cut in the most proper manner, makes you feel really good. This goes for both men and women. Although, I feel sorry for the women since their visit to the comb and scissors are much more expensive than a man's visit.

- Gentleman Tip of the Day -

Find your own personal barber, if you don't have one already. It doesn't have to be somewhere fancy, just make sure it's easy on the wallet and easy on your head. Remember, there is always a balance. Always try to find a place that suits your needs. Do not be afraid to tell the barber what you want and ask for their opinion - meet in the middle. Yes, they do know a bit of what it takes to cutting hair. Don't be egotistical and think that a certain hairdo is something you can pull off when your barber is telling you otherwise. Let them do their job. Never be embarrassed by your hair either. If you have a receding hair-line or thin hair, it's OK to let your barber do what he needs to do. Don't feel that they are judging you or that they may negatively comment on your hair pattern. They are professionals, this is their job. They will do whatever to make the neatest cut and make you look good. Don't forget, their reputation is on the line as well as they cut your hair. Get to know the person on a first name basis. A barber feels most comfortable when he is at ease knowing that the hair they are working on likes to be cut in a certain way with a positive feedback. Yes, it may cost a bit for a real quality barber but know that is only necessary for men who truly care for their hair. In most cases, image is everything. How you behave is a whole different topic. Look classy, be classy.
By the way, don't be ignorant. There are women who can cut a man's hair with the best of them!

fashion - 2:12 PM

Get Your Hurr Did

A fter nearly 5 1/2 years of living in this God forsaken place, I have finally found my personal barber. In old town Dhaka , of all places. ...

Doctor of philosophy (PhD); in Greek διδάκτωρ φιλοσοφίας; of Latin, philosophiae doctor - literally translates to "the love of wisdom". I tend to consider myself a true lover of women and the wisdom it presents me by being in their company. There are many different types of women but most importantly, different types of human beings. Regardless, there are a few things - physically & emotionally - that are the same when it comes to the female race.

Throughout the history of civilization, we have come to believe that women are second to men. We have been led to believe a man is stronger than a woman. In Greek mythology, the king of the gods, Zeus, once labeled Pandora (the first woman) as 'a beautiful evil'. With so many interpretations, the basic story of it goes is that she opened a jar (Pandora's box) that released chaos - evils - onto the world and mankind. She opened it out of curiosity (not maliciously) but later there was a sign of hope since she had closed it again.
What us men tend to forget is that our number one weakness is the opposite sex. Centuries old tales of powerful men exposing their insecurities. Whether a man is trying to impress or outdo a woman it all comes down to our insecurities. Most people, even women, are led to believe a woman cannot lead a nation because of the vary nature of their being; women are too emotional and will not make a sound judgement. To a certain extent this can be true, but let's not forget never to judge an entire nation by a single act by an individual. Men tend to act "tough" around their male friends when speaking to their significant others to show superiority; they feel they need to fit in with the rest of the 'alpha' males, when in reality, it's the complete opposite when they come home. Love it or hate it, gentleman, the women in your life control your emotions and actions more than you are led to believe.
The easiest way to go on about things with women is setting your pride aside. This is an act a man is not willing to do and will struggle for the rest of his life (this regards to heterosexual men). There is a reason why in all of the holy books of the three major religions in the world mention how a woman should dress conservatively. This really has nothing to do with faith or religious order; it is to save yourself...from yourself. In Islam, a woman is to cover herself up to her wrists and ankles and fully covering her hair - leaving her face exposed only. The idea of being covered completely is nonsense so don't believe what you hear or see on TV. A woman can achieve that conservative presentation in a very fashionably way as well. The reason for not exposing all that extra skin is to stop men from doing what they do. Men are tempted, they always have been. Various thoughts runs course in those perverse minds. Although, those ideas do run both ways so women don't feel you are off the hook that easily.

Those rules or guidelines are set because the real men in society know the fears of temptations and know the insecurities when facing women. It takes even a 'bigger' man (a gentleman) to glance at an attractive woman and not be stimulated. It doesn't mean you are a homosexual. This isn't grade school so grow up. Subconsciously, males have tried to avoid females since the days of adolescence. Remember coodies? Somehow in our DNA it has been fixed to where we always try to keep our distance from females. That evolution has brought us to the later stages in an unclear perspective of the world. One of those complex behaviors lies within our love and fear of women. Men are quick to compliment or flirt with a known female who happens to be a sister of a good friend of theirs. At the same time, men will be overprotective of their mothers and their own sisters when others give a similar compliment. The latter shows the true feelings of a man, regardless of his reckless nature. It's not about power, it's about fear. The fear of losing those women close to him. Whether a man admits it or not, those women are his backbone. They are crutches in our course of life.
As the old saying goes, women, you can't live with them, you can't live without them. It's an irony just like life itself. I believe it would makes things easier if men can slightly put their prides aside. They (women) are the reason we live, they are what holds us together. In a way, that insecurity of men keeps the true power of a woman at bay. In a somewhat unfair perspective, men cannot let that fear to be exposed for they risk the unbalance of mankind.

- Gentleman Tip of the Day -
Gentleman, they are called ex-girlfriends for a reason. Straight and simple, it didn't work out so what makes you think it will work out the next time. I understand that you will always have some type of soft spot for her but let's face it, you are deluding yourself. I have to admit, I have fallen to this trap myself, otherwise, I could never give you this tip (or any of the GTDs). It's bad news, gentlemen, You can try to be there for them and try your best to support them but always keep in mind they are not your current significant other but your former significant other. It's like signing back a former player on your team that simply wasn't fitting into your winning system. You wouldn't waste your money or resources in obtaining that player would you? Of course, not! It wouldn't make sense. It would be a poor investment. A waste of your time and a waste of your energy. Look into the free agency pool or search for a new signing in an asset that has a contract expiring.

fashion - 12:46 AM

PhD on Women

D octor of philosophy (PhD); in Greek διδάκτωρ φιλοσοφίας; of Latin, philosophiae doctor - literally translates to "the love of wisdo...

There are plenty of misconceptions of what is cool and what is perceived to be 'cool'. Living in a world (Bangladesh) that loses itself in the limbo of time, I have to admit, gets me irritated. The old school nature and the dabbing of the fingers of the present really does not mix. Just the past couple of days, I have realized there has been way too many examples of what is actually 'cool' - sheik - taken and presented in the wrong way.

Not classy: Wearing a tight shirt that suffocates your entire torso. Who in the world told your scrawny butt (even the WWE wannabes) that it was perfectly fine wearing tight-douche-bag-shirts? We are talking about in a country in which 9 months of the year it is pure disgusting humidity. No one wants to see your shirt's scar oozing out of your pits zone.
Yes, there is a way to eat certain foods. This just doesn't happen here in South Asia but pretty much everywhere. When you order pizza at a restaurant, 5 star or not, you eat it with your hands! The Italians themselves would be insulted if they saw you eating with a fork and a knife! Seriously? Since we are on the subject, it doesn't hurt to do some homework in how to eat pasta/spaghetti.
I don't care who you are never put someone on blast in public. You might think you are embarrassing the other person by shouting insults and possessing a foul mouth, but you are only embarrassing yourself. Regardless of the mistake committed by the other person, you simply refrain yourself from saying anything in public. Your personal business is your personal business; keep things behind closed doors. Even behind closed doors, don't delude yourself in thinking you may get away with whatever you want.
The ten pounds of make-up! I still don't understand what possesses a woman to dip her face in powder as if it were Scarface all over again. I keep a firm stance on women who think putting a mask on, literally, makes them 'look' better...it doesn't. Wake up. The best a woman can look is at a natural state. Now, not everyone can appreciate that so light (very light) make-up is the farthest I can tolerate. If you take of yourself by eating right and keeping healthy, all of that make-up should be left for a costume party.
Talking behind people's back, I'm sure is a universal stuck-up habit by many people - mostly women. You may think you are above others by talking about someone specific in your current group behind his or her back. Do not kid yourself. I have always told people never to speak ill of someone if they are not around. This goes to everyone, even my family. I'm sure I have a couple of ignorant individuals who aren't too fond of me but they should know I never speak ill of them. If I am criticizing you, it's for a good reason to show you the door into a home that should better yourself.

These encounters I really do not have too much tolerance of. There are plenty of things, some more irritating than others, in life that you can tolerate and cannot. The best way on going on about these certain things is showing class of your own. You can tell someone off by choosing your words wisely and keep it at a monotone voice. Showing no emotion to your blunt approach, will let the person know that you are being serious and do not mean to harm the person just to lead them into realizing their wrongs.

- Gentleman Tip of the Day -

Learn to take criticism. The best way to live life is learning off your mistakes. Although, it is important to accept the opinions of a mass audience. Just because one or a couple of people tends to disagree with you in, let's say fashion or behavior, doesn't necessarily mean you have failed. Your style can be loved and adored by 90% of those observes and the rest 10% may believe it simply doesn't work. The important to catch onto is that you have gotten a majority of positive feedback. You have to learn that you will not be able to satisfy everyone you encounter. Always take the positive and avoid the negative. This type of situation is always judged and measured by a whole not just by a few number of people. Keep your chin up and be prepared to take a lashing when you do end up doing something unfavorable. You are only human but strive to be the best.

fashion - 11:07 PM

Class 103

T here are plenty of misconceptions of what is cool and what is perceived to be 'cool'. Living in a world (Bangladesh) that loses it...

As I was designing a logo for an up and coming music group, I realized how much looks can be deceiving. These are not the looks we normally encounter with the general public - the way people dress. It's the same as never judging a book by its cover. I love the fact that in art, especially in design, I can manipulate the most chaotic terms into something elegant. This new music group have decided to call them Sabotage and I still hope they reconsider their name. Regardless, there is nothing positive about the name besides sounding 'cool'. What I was able to do is hide the negatives in the name and made the logo (which is the name itself) sophisticated and a bit more professional.

This made me realize how good I am in that skill. This specific talent of mine (not being arrogant) goes farther than designing digital works. I've become a personal stylist for several people, mostly women. You have to realize these talents that you posses sooner or later. There is nothing wrong with following your passion. In fact, that is what you should be doing. As I have said countless times to people, do what makes you happy. As long as you live your life morally, ethically, and legally (somewhat), do what makes you happy. I can understand most of us do not have that luxury simply because of the responsibilities that were handed down to us. For those who do have the opportunity, follow your heart and go with your passion. There is nothing wrong in working a 9-5 job and still being happy about where you are in life. Some of us tend to forget that it's really not all about money.

Ladies and gentleman, have respect for those who earn less than you. Those individuals have pride in their work and know the true value of hard work. With freedom comes great responsibility, those who comprehend that position are greater human beings than you may perceive them to be. No matter if you are a mailman or an engineer, always remember no one is beneath you - show humility, be humble. We get so caught up into our own world we tend to forget about the basics. Proper etiquette is very important, whether you are with your friends or in a professional setting. Steer away from negativity and ignorance because those factors lead us to our own downfall. You can make the most minute slip-up that leads to an avalanche of problems. Be kind to others but don't let them walk all over you either.

- Gentleman Tip of the Day -
Since we're on the topic, let's keep rolling. Common courtesy goes a very long way...trust me. Unfortunately, I only rarely experience such courtesy in Bangladesh - five years and counting. When it comes to women, gentlemen, be at your best. Always remember the basics, since it has become a habit nowadays to forget them. You know, opening a door for a lady or let her walk in (or exit) first. Don't expect a 'thank you' or any real gratitude because that is not why you are doing what you are doing. You are a well mannered human being, let this show to the rest of the world. I show common courtesy in a world that seems to have no knowledge of and are constantly surprised by my actions. Rarely, it does happen, I will see a smile on someone's face simply by me picking up a coin off the ground that he or she has dropped and returning it to them. That's all I need to do continue doing what I do. Those proper etiquettes and common courtesy have already been instilled to my character so it comes natural to me. I suggest you do the same. No one likes a rude 's.o.b' but everyone either loves or feels at ease with a gentleman around. Don't let them think our breed is dead. Chivalry is far from extinct. Be a gentleman, be you.

fashion - 5:21 PM

Sempre di Classe

A s I was designing a logo for an up and coming music group, I realized how much looks can be deceiving. These are not the looks we normall...

Ah, yes, Monday mornings. Don't you just love them? (sarcasm)...It's that beautiful day of the week where the majority of us begin our labor. But hold on, who said it had to be boring? Usually, Mondays are bland and tends to drag a lot. It's the first day of the week that makes you want to reach Friday already. I find that this post is very appropriate for a bland Monday.

There are a few things that gentleman, well, men in general need to learn. There are a few steps that can drive a proper lady mad with passion. We all are aware of the amazing abilities that women have; one of those abilities being the power of seduction. What most women do not realize is that men have the same abilities. I, for one, can tell you plenty of stories of how it all goes down. That would take hours and this is no personal journal or diary. I can tell you certain actions that you can take in order to run the sultry course of seducing women. Before attempting any of this, remember to always do your homework - do the research. When I say research, I don't mean text books. I mean observe the woman, see how she behaves and see what type of person she is. Once you get that out of the way, you will have a clear vision of how difficult it will be to seduce this certain female.

The first is always the most important because it's the introduction in the beginning stages of your attempt to seduce. If you are a good looking fellow, this will be the easiest step of all. You always have to look the part before you take it on and act upon it. Dress well, look good, and keep that swagger. When you approach the young lady (make sure you actually know her), you will see the first sign of her being drawn: her smile. I, honestly, could take a job as a profiler for the FBI or CIA; I can tell plenty of things simply by looking at a woman's smile. When you see her smile and she shows you her pearly whites, you are on the right track, my friend. Don't worry if you don't see her smile from ear to ear because a slight smirk is a sign of a slightly conservative woman welcoming you in. That smirk and her eyes sizing you up is as good.
Tease her from a distance. In a conversation, know when to drop subtle hints of her attractive traits. Humor plays a large role in this process of seduction. Soften her up a little by being funny but don't act like a clown. You have to know how to tell her she is beautiful without exaggerating it. At times, you should compliment her and in a sudden stop in the middle of the sentence and pause. She, in some way, will wonder why you've stopped or ask you bluntly to keep going. Remember, she doesn't have to speak to be drawn in into your genuine compliment. After the slight pause, continue to finish your sentence. She has to believe you are enchanted by her simply by being in her presence.
Your smile is as important as hers. You have to let her know that you are excited to see her right off the bat. Unlike her, do not expose your teeth. Smirking and smiling humbly will keep the mystery of what you are about to say or do next. As the time goes on, you can gradually let yourself go and smile all you want - make sure it's purely genuine.
Touching is a very sensitive topic. A little nudge while fooling around is OK. Nothing more than that because that is just pushing it (no pun intended). If all is going well, she will be tempted to touch you. Those light back hands she throws across your chest or your arm is a very good sign. It means your innocent flirting is working very well. Also, note her physical distance from you; always keep your eye on how close she is sitting next to you. I'm sure you all know the difference if she literally has to get up from where she is sitting to hit you...this usually means you have pretty much failed. Go home, save yourself the embarrassment.
Whenever you encounter a lovely woman the first thing that attracts you to her is the obvious looks. This is all down to science. What most people do not know, it is much more scientific than you believe. Scientist have studied that human beings, above all, are creatures of this planet. This means we have the same animal instincts as, for example, a tiger or lion. Many male animals are attracted to a female from their scent. We, believe it or not, are strongly attracted to a man or woman's body odor. This happens to be one of the main reasons why we must remain hygienically aware. With all that said, make sure you dab an attractive fragrance a couple of times behind your ears and a touch of it where your throat and your chest meet. Women can easily pick up on scents and automatically love it or hate it. Make sure your cologne is on the easy side, stay away from all that musk and abrasive scents.
Be close but do not get too close. Those very cheesy and cliche 'I'm yawning and stretching' let me put my arm around you stuff...simply is unattractive. The less contact the more seduction. You are not in bed nor in a dimmed lit theater. A true gentleman keeps his hands to himself at all times in the company of women who are not your significant other. If they are your friends, it's a completely different environment. When you are seducing a woman you are attracted and interested in, let your facial expressions and your words do the work. Do not touch unless she blatantly invites you to.
The way you listen is actually a turn on to her. Besides the talking and non-touching steps, the way you give her your undivided attention is very important. Yes, you can seduce her the way you listen to her. Always look into her eyes while smiling softly. Rest your chin on your hand while you once in a while graze your bottom lip with your finger. If she is completely awake, she will pick up on your slight hints. The light glances you give to her lips, the resting of your shoulders, and leaning your neck at an angle (while smiling) are all little things she will quickly pick up on. Just be careful not to put it on too heavy, otherwise, that is just creepy. It's the little details that will lure her in.

There are plenty of ways to seduce for both men and women in different situations and environments. This was the process a man can take out in public. Do not forget the art of seduction is the allure you project, it is not the act of sexual intimacy. It's being sexy, not having sex. Don't try to undress her with your eyes because that usually means you have other agendas and she is the one actually doing the seducing.

- Gentleman Tip of the Day -

Since we are on the topic of seduction. Do not, seriously, mix two different fragrances. There are little mistakes you can commit that are hugely significant. The idea of blasting Axe body spray all over you and then push some cologne on you is a huge mistake. There is a reason why top brands charge so much for their fragrances. Not only are they unique to the smell but the ingredients are specifically mixed for that one type of fragrance. You run the risk of canceling out both the body spray and your cologne. And when using your cologne, make sure you dab or spray only once in the places I have mentioned in one of the steps above. Also, make sure you have two different types of colognes. Once again, it has to do with science. For the day time, make sure your cologne has a soft smell - a heavy abrasive scent is a put-off. During the night, when the temperature drops, use a heavier aggressive cologne - this will fight off the temperature from absorbing your scent. Whatever you do, do not spray on your clothes. I'm sure the cleaners have made sure your clothes are easy to be around so don't be silly on smearing that cologne all over you.

fashion - 11:36 PM

L'art de la Séduction

A h, yes, Monday mornings. Don't you just love them? (sarcasm) ...It's that beautiful day of the week where the majority of us begin...

I have been blamed and accused for plenty of things in the past but never really something so significant as to attack my character. I have cheated once in my life while being in a committed relationship with another ex-girlfriend - I had been cheated on as well even before that. That fact I can admit without a second thought because I have always been honest, especially when it came to my significant others. I cared too much to hide anything from anyone. As we all know, we do really silly and immature things while we were young and I am glad to say that "cheating" episode happened while I was young. That is still not an excuse. Cheating is simply wrong, ladies and gentleman; I don't care who you are.

With that said, not one of my ex-girlfriends would ever accuse me of lying to them or accuse me of having an affair with a married woman (or women). It is somewhat insulting yet amusing as I have been indirectly (or directly, depends how you see it) accused of having affairs with married women. Is it my fault that older women find me attractive? Of course not, but this does not automatically qualify me as a 'home-wrecker'. I have too much respect for the bond between a man and a woman. It does not matter if that woman is having a turbulent relationship with her husband or that she's going through a divorce. It is not a good idea to be involved with a woman who is in some shape or form still involved with her husband or soon to be ex-husband.

I'm single, yes. Am I attractive? I believe so, even though I do know there are better looking lads out there. Am I charming? The ladies have led me to believe so from their own first hand accounts. Of all these various reasons or characteristics, nothing in this world would posses me to have an affair with a married woman. Anyone has the ability to ask any of the females in my life - with my ex-girlfriends included - if I am nearly capable of doing something that drastic. They will admit to you that I am a gentleman. My reputation is at such a level not a single person (both male and female) can ever imagine me having an actual physical affair with a married woman. I can also admit I have been intimate with three of my ex-girlfriends, whom I have had a solid committed relationship with, to think I would have a 'one-night stand' is unimaginable. What would posses a certain person to get the ignorant idea in his or her head that I would be involved in such an act? Bitterness? Envy of specific individuals in their lives? Low self-esteem? The list goes on.

My concern is not of the behavior of this accuser but the importance of his or her reputation to the rest of the world. When the majority rules to my favor with valid reasoning, what makes you think you are above me by laying down such accusations? The accuser, I'm sure, is reading this post. Don't worry sir or madame, you are not that important to my global audience that they would know who you are and what your name is. I would dare not to spread slander about someone who is clearly delusional out in public. I have class, I am above such petty behavior and self-involved people. The record is now clear. To the rest of you, do the same and I assure you those who have nothing better to do but act as if they are still in high school will fade into the distance...

- Gentleman Tip of the Day -

Know your signs because women love to send a large amount of mixed signals, gentlemen. If you want to avoid embarrassing yourself, it's important to know the signs they tend to give off. Having the upper-hand is very important, take a step back. Remember, expect nothing and have pure intentions. It's better to befriend her rather than trying to dive right into her pants. This is a lesson learned by a man who is genuinely interested in a woman. To avoid the entire "signs" episode, you simply have to put yourself in a position to never having to deal with those signs. The thing is she (whoever she is) already knows you are interested in her. It's not that difficult or complex to see a man is interested in a certain woman. Women love to keep you at the edge of your seat but even then, subconsciously they are welcoming you to get closer to them. Is closer good? There is no right or wrong answer to that, especially when you can't read their signals from the start. Always remember even in this type of situation, never expect anything of your pursuit of this woman so you will never be left with disappointment. It's easier to be friends with her and finding out things that way gradually. You have to be patient; you must learn to do things smoothly. Play that role of the "smooth criminal" (like in my earlier post) to get to the end of the tunnel. The outcomes are simple, yes, she is interested in you or she isn't. If she isn't interested in you, there is nothing to it and you walk away with that swagger as if nothing negative came out of that pursuit. If she is interested, well, you know what to do...just don't mess it up, she's probably a keeper.

fashion - 2:47 PM

The Phantom Affairs

I have been blamed and accused for plenty of things in the past but never really something so significant as to attack my character. I have...

Just recently, I read an article online on Matt Bomer (star of White Collar), who happens to be my current style icon. This little information was related to another online article on Askmen.com about the way a man in his 20s should dress. It got to me to thinking that this is the way I have been living for a while. Once you have those designer labels wrapped around your body there is a certain type of swagger that rides along with it.

Before going on to those very expensive shops along Saks Fifth Avenue or down Rodeo Drive, you have to ask yourself a very important question. It is a question that we never think about until we really want to become professional or take on the roll of a gentleman. The question is simple, along the lines of: Why do all those top designer labels hide their logos on their clothes? The answer is very simple as well. It's all about class and humble living. Once you are in your mid 20s you should start taking responsibility to how you present yourself to the rest of the world. In the years before your college days, you were very quick to jump on those very 'hip' and trendy threads at the mall. Poppin' tags are you? Not once you feel the need to become GQ.

The reason why those the best designers of Europe tag themselves within their clothing is to give you your own sense of style. It is the allure of class that others in the same room will quickly catch on to. For fashion aficionados (like me), it'll be easy or easier to point out who is wearing what - who is wearing what type of design. The majority of the time no one will have a clue of what you are wearing. You are better off leaving those people in suspense. When walking into a room, you must make a statement but not make a spectacle of yourself. At the same time, it is important not to send yourself into obscurity within the minute you walk in the room. You don't have to be a celebrity to make heads turn.

I attended a wedding reception earlier today and I did exactly that. If there was one word to describe me, it would be passion. To describe me in a sentence, it would be more like, "I'm a 'confidence man' and a master thief, when it comes to the matter of the heart and mind." Call me a con-artist if you would like, it works...trust me. I walked in as I usually would, at first thinking I was over-dressed. When heads started turning (of both men and women), I soon realized that they were under-dressed for the occasion. I had dark toned colors that you would usually wear during the Fall season. I walked the way I walked in a designer blazer, dark washed skinny jeans, white dress shirt, solid black skinny-tie, cap toes dress shoes, and my attitude. The attitude is simply letting people look at you and not the other way around. All you have to do is smile.

It's OK to be normal; we may not be celebrities but we damn sure can play the role. Just remember (as in an earlier post of mine) to separate arrogance and confidence. Be yourself, bring your best, and commit to that smooth criminal ambiance.

- Gentleman Tip of the Day -

Do your research, fellas. No matter what the occasion or subject, it is a very good idea to look things up before you go on with whatever it is that you are doing. There is no shame, whatsoever, on hitting up Google or visiting sites like AskMen or GQ or even my blog! These are your guides in broadening your knowledge. These are not lessons you will find in text books. Most of these lessons and messages (GTD on this blog) are to make your life a bit easier. I have never drank a single drop of alcohol in my entire life and I can tell you what types of wines there are and how you are suppose handle yourself in a wine tasting. You don't have to practice something in order to obtain knowledge about it. These are crutches to experiencing life so please, do whatever you can to make it easier for yourself. Don't try to do 'half-ass' researching to simply impress a woman, it is not flattering. The first priority, before trying to impress anyone, should be obtaining that knowledge for yourself - how you think it will benefit you in the future. Don't be afraid to ask questions, it does not make you stupid. It let's people know that this gentleman has a thirst for knowledge and wishes to be accomplished. It's all about the "3S effect": Sexy, Sophisticated, Smooth. This goes for men and women.

Read it, love it, live it.

fashion - 9:05 PM

Smooth Criminal

J ust recently, I read an article online on Matt Bomer (star of White Collar ), who happens to be my current style icon. This little inform...

I had my normal morning chai (tea) and two pieces of coffee cake today along with the morning news. Today was something interesting as they talked about a bit of the fashion world and blogging. It's one thing that President Obama used to his advantage; he was rolling with the time. He used the internet in a very effective and successful manner. It is to no surprise that all the major brands out there are doing what they can to get their marketing out on the net. It is was the consumers want just like how they want their information - quick and constant.
Everyone is on their cell phones nowadays and people are always on the go. The internet, whether you like it or not, is a huge part of your lives. It's a major factor in my every day life so I kind of feed on it. The portion of today's news showed a 17 year old boy was invited to the Paris fashion week in one of the shows. I believe it was Jean Paul Gaultier show he attended and a couple of others. Anyway, this young man (you can tell he's very fashionable) has a blog strictly about fashion. He has such a large following that even some designers and fashion houses take a look into this blogs. I wish to do the same thing with my blog but of course, my service isn't just about fashion. If you have been following along you know exactly what it is about: life in general through the perspective of a gentleman. I'm here to help those that have no other outlet that are genuinely helpful.
I love that fact and accept that people have the ability to get tips and trick on the go. Whether it is business related or simply for your pleasure you can obtain nearly any type of information through your laptops and mobile phones.
I really do encourage you guys to suggest topics you would like for me to discuss. I want to make this blogging experience for you guys a bit more interactive with things like weekly polls and so on. I not only want this to be educational but also fun. This is what we observe and experience in every-day life so I'm just here to make it easier for both men and women.

- Gentleman Tip of the Day -
It's perfectly fine to follow 'trends' but it is also important to find your own look. I find inspiration in pretty much anything on this planet; I find it in anything that is positive, of course. I have had a couple of style icons in my life and that has heavily influenced my taste in fashion. You don't always have to walk out looking "GQ", there is something called being casual. There is no shame in following a celebrities look, you shouldn't be afraid to try the things they are trying out. Most importantly, always know that not everything they have will look good on you. You have to be able to take bits and pieces from different sources to make a fine look for you. From the way you talk and the way you walk, you have already been influenced by society. You can 'find yourself' by observing the style and attitude of others. This is a process that will mix into your own unique style that others will try to duplicate but will not be able to achieve. If you want to change, change for the better. Anything besides that, be yourself - be honest.

fashion - 11:01 AM

Embrace It

I had my normal morning chai (tea) and two pieces of coffee cake today along with the morning news. Today was something interesting as they...

I came about this idea after observing the recent behaviors of one of my ex-girlfriends. The most recent action reminded of all the other acts committed by her and by past girlfriends. One thing I love, that they hate, is that they hate it when you refer to them as your "ex-girlfriend". If you are still 'friends' with your ex-girlfriend (and it actually works), it's nice to see them squirm when you refer to them by that certain term. They rather have you introduce them as your 'friend' or simply by their name. What can you do though? If you begin to discuss your ex and you use her name, the other person will only ask you, "Oh, Monica? Your ex?" In a way, whether they like it or not, everyone will always label her as your ex-girlfriend.

These are subtle signs of a relationship heading to the ex-it. Sorry for all the puns but I love them and it's very appropriate for this occasion.

She will avoid introducing you to her girlfriends. "No, baby, it's not like that. I trust you but I just don't completely trust them." Seriously? It's the weakest excuse to direct you away from the fact she really doesn't trust you. And why would she ever doubt a gentleman? That's if you truly are a gentleman. This is the same when you are hanging-out with your female friends.
It's perfectly fine for her to talk about her 'issues' but when it comes down to you, she'll deliberately try to avoid you. "I don't know what's wrong, I think my iPhone isn't getting reception." Apparently, that's a reason for a single text message to not get through. She may assume you are an idiot.
A slight trend of you always purchasing things for her. A real lady does not find satisfaction in material things. Sure, they may love to dip themselves in glamor but she will not try to dig into your wallet. If you find yourself buying extravagant (or pricey) products, you are making a huge mistake.
She is too damn independent. It's fantastic and very sexy when a woman can take control while making love but when it's excessive outside the bedroom, run for your life. It's respectable and admirable to see a woman standing on her own two feet, sort of speak, but it's really not flattering when she is in control the majority of the time. A relationship is 50/50, there is always a balance.
She decides to continue being friends with her ex-boyfriend. Now, in very rare cases, a legitimate lady will be able to pull of being friends with an ex and have strictly platonic. One major problem, even those specific rare cases don't know that there will always be a soft spot for their ex-boyfriend(s). 95% of the time it is a very bad idea that your current girlfriend is still friends with her ex. It's common sense. If she is willing to have him as a 'friend' there is a very big chance of her 'hooking' back up with him. This doesn't excuse you from being friends with your ex either...be very careful.
Gradually, she is trying to change you. She's trying to mold you in what type of man she wants. Let's face it we are not perfect, but that does not mean our flaws lead to our downfall. Number one sign of this major issue: you are spending less and less time with your male friends. She thinks by isolating you from your normal life is an advantage. In my past post, I discussed the mastered ability of manipulation of women. Now, this is no different when a nice girl meets a bad boy. Their number one delusion in that case is they have no idea that their efforts of changing that 'bad boy' is leading to failure.
Her finger points at you rather than the other way around. We live in a world of hypocrisy and double standards. She thinks whatever she does is completely justified and that your faults are weighing down the relationship. This is very difficult to recognize if you do not actually talk about these issues with others that have an unbiased perspective. You might actually start to blame yourself since she lays it on you so heavily. A 'worth it woman' will always try to talk things out with you if there is a problem. All you have to do is listen and reciprocate in the proper manner.
She just doesn't get along with your friends. There is a very clear reason for this. Your friends simply do not like her. That is an unsafe route to walk on. The beauty of a relationship is that each one of your personalities reflects the entire relationship. If she can't get along with your friends, that's a direct insult to you. You can see where the problem is...if you have the ability to choose your friends and it obviously works out but where did you go wrong with your girl? Sometimes she will not and will refuse to give an effort. It's not the issue of you looking for your friends' approval; the problem is that this is how she probably behaves with other people in general. It's really unhealthy for you to be separated from your friends. One thing you don't want is when she asks you the most dreaded question of all, "It's either me or your friends." Well, it's not really a question is it? It's an ultimatum, which means nice meeting you and you have a good one. That's when you simply walk away.

These are only some of the many signs but I find that these are the most common. Remember, this can go for both sexes. There is no discrimination between sexes when it comes to a relationship.

- Gentleman Tip of the Day -

Men, it is important to follow some trends in fashion but not when it comes to women. I despise situations where a man is 'forced' to make a decision simply by peer pressure. It's weak, it's not 'cool'. Don't delude yourself in thinking it's the right thing to do. If there is a woman that you fancy and according to your friends she's "not that hot", who cares? As a gentleman, you should know better. This woman, as it seems, grabs your attention without any effort so who cares if she's not "hot" enough for your friends. They are not interested in wooing her, you are. I can't stress this enough, guys. What matters most is her personality. Sure, you have to be somewhat physically attracted to her but whoever said she had to be a supermodel to be accepted by everyone you know? You want to be a real man? Put your foot down and do what you have to do to woo her and make her yours.

fashion - 10:31 PM

The Ex-perience

I came about this idea after observing the recent behaviors of one of my ex-girlfriends. The most recent action reminded of all the other a...

fashion - 10:10 PM

The Modern Gentleman

W hat a pleasant coincidence. The theme of this blog you already know. You also know that I'm very fashionable and I am always up to dat...

This specific post is dedicated to a very close and loving friend of mine, Shamima. She is in many ways a muse to my work in design and writing. In turn, she's inspired me on this specific characteristic called: CLASS. Walking through life with grace and obtaining a high level of class is the way to go, especially when it comes to a gentleman. This is for both the gentleman and the proper ladies.

In any given situation, it is very important to always take a step back and read the environment you are about to step into. Most people make the most common mistake by diving into something without consulting to themselves and not giving a thought to the consequences. Every little thing I discuss in my blog is the most basic lessons you have to learn in life and those same basic terms are forgotten by the day. These basic terms and teachings are being projected in the most logical and practical forms. There is nothing complex about anything I discuss, you have to read carefully and practice it in your every day life. Someone once asked me you should be a life consultant and charge people. I responded in saying that's just stupid. All those "self-help" people out there motivation speakers and what not are making money out of the most simple and basic teachings you get out of life itself. I help people to understand and use the abilities they already have. It's not genuinely helping when you are charging people like your some psychiatrist. I'm 'revealing' all of these processes and tips because you (as the reader) already know most of this, you have simply gone off track and have made the most basic things complex.

There are many outcomes to a single situation. Regardless of the situation or outcomes (consequences), you must always behave yourself with pure class. Remember to never be provoked by someone who is directly or indirectly insulting you. The number one rule in class is that no one should ever be able to lure you into anything. This goes for those stupid petty arguments you can fall into. Some go out their way to insult you - directly or indirectly - but you must not, under any circumstance, respond to it. This type of mistake feeds those ignorant beings who have serious self-esteem issues. No matter the age of these people, they still believe they are back in high school and playing characters on Gossip Girl. A person can be in their mid 30s and still believe they are the leader of a high school clique. Get real, grow up. And of course, these individuals are so caught up in their self-involved bubble that they will never look in the mirror and admit to their wrong doings. What is the best way to deal with these type of people and situation?

Excuse me for my being blunt, just don't give a shit. Someone insult your character or your mother? Who cares? You know the truth and so do many other people who care for you. I don't just mean a few people (family related), I'm talking about a small population of open-minded caring human beings. You are a grown adult. It's sad and very pathetic to see older women behave so poorly and immature that even my little sister (who happens to be half the other woman's age) can point out and say, "Wow! That's just pathetic." It has nothing to do with age, it's always in the person's mind. In any case, you should always act your age. Leave the immaturity to the adolescent children. Class is walking and not making a single gesture to the other person's pathetic attempt to bring you down. I don't care if it's my family members or acquaintances, I've always reserved myself in the room of class. The moment you show them attention is the moment you have found yourself down to their very low level. I'm sure most of you have encountered these type of people and forces all over. Talking trash on Facebook, really? How old are you again? Xanga, MySpace, or Facebook, doesn't matter what it is, why are you wasting your time typing trash on online social networks? By the way, that was not a plug-in for the movie.

What they fail to realize is that they are making an ass out of themselves by behaving the way they choose to. With class, you don't have to worry because you are already on top of your game. Brush of your shoulders, ladies and gentleman. Stay classy not trashy.

- Gentleman Tip of the Day -

There are certain tips that I know of that I decide not to share simply because they are too damn good and I keep them secret. This little tip used to be one of those secrets but I have decided to share this one as I am sure plenty of women will appreciate this greatly coming from men. This might come-off a little 'cheesy' but I assure it's more seductive than anything else. It's how you act upon this little tip that will do it for that certain someone. This one is directed to those gentleman who are in the "dating" stage or meeting new people. I'm sure all of us have heard the many sweet fantasies women have (some being very naughty). One of those many thoughts and day dreams happens to be the first kiss. I happened to be 'the first kiss' for a couple of girls in the past and I wish I had thought of this back then. Of course, everything is a learning experience, you learn from your mistakes. The first kiss is very important to a woman. But the first kiss that I'm talking about goes to both the virgins and the ones who want to start a new relationship. Gentleman, this is where you come in. If you are planning on kissing that certain someone, first make sure the environment calls for the first kiss. You should already know the basics: No tongue, no slobbering, no grabbing while kissing. Don't be a perv. If anything, she will be the one that will graze her tongue on your lips. How you say? Well, people make one very small yet very significant mistake. I'm sure all of you have seen shows and movies where a guy sprays mint mouth freshener before he talks or is about to kiss a girl. That's fine and all but if you really want the actually kissing be memorable (given the fact that you're not a horrible kisser), pop something sweet in your mouth. Not just anything sweet, put something very specific: Lifesaver Creme Savers. Candy along the same style will leave the...wait for it...sweetest taste in her mouth. Make sure to pop one in your mouth before the meeting, she can't see you busy chewing something and stay away from anything that has a minty taste to it or it will ruin the entire effect. Let your first kiss with her be the sweetest she's ever had...literally. If she doesn't smirk while kissing you or is felt left wanting more, then look else where because it'll be a clear sign this woman will not be able to please. Cross your fingers and make sure the young lady will melt in your mouth (no pun intended).

fashion - 7:18 PM

Class 101

T his specific post is dedicated to a very close and loving friend of mine, Shamima . She is in many ways a muse to my work in design and wr...

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